Has successfully wrestled polar bears on two separate continents (yes, two!).

Supposedly, has received his acceptance letter from Hogwarts, even though the school year has already started. Authenticity of letter has yet to be verified.

Can maneuver a van in reverse faster than Jason Bourne in a Mini Cooper on a Parisian side street. Wins gold medals for outstanding facial hair (or what’s lack of it) for a Chinaman.